44 Thoughts I Had Trying To Make Pupusas For The First Time

Mom: “Quieres pupusas?”
Me: “Sí!”
Mom: “Entonces ayúdame!”
Me: “Mmmmmm, orale pues.”

ID: 9790455

1. When I said “yes” to pupusas, I didn’t know I would be helping make them. I feel tricked.
2. How did she already make mountains of meat, beans, and cheese?? Pupusa fillings game too strong.
3. “Pupusa fillings” is a weird phrase.
4. But why is there no established phrase for the “mountains of meat, beans, and cheese” that go into a pupusa?
5. Seriously though, are we feeding a third world country??

ID: 9783874

6. Do we even have enough masa for this?
7. Because I am not going to the store again.
8. Seriously, the masa to meat ratio is like 1 to 50 right now.
9. How is my mom not freaking out over this absurd imbalance??
10. We’re gonna need hella Latina mom magic to pull this off.

ID: 9783885

Me: “So…how do I do this?”
Mom (translated): “Okay, grab masa and roll it into a good size ball. Then flatten it into a pancake and put all of the fillings you want on top of it. Close up the masa around the fillings and place it on the comal so I can cook them. And that’s it!”

ID: 9790818

11. Her instructions sound simple enough, but so do frozen pizza instructions and I still manage to burn those to hell.
12. Okay, I got this. I can do this—
14. Grabbing the right amount of masa on the first try should be hailed as a special skill on a resume.
15. Just grab a little more and—no that’s way too much.
16. I’ll just put a little bit back and—oh goddamn it, now it’s too small again.

ID: 9789429

17. How is everyone else doing this???
19. Alright, it only took 64.5 tries, but I got it!
20. How do I spread this on JUST my hand?!
21. My hand is too fucking small for this.

ID: 9783929

22. Gonna end up making some insulting tiny-ass pupusas.
23. How will I get over the shame I’ve brought on my family?
24. Ugh, why won’t it stop ripping???
25. And I still need to add fillings, friggin a.
26. I completely underestimated this.

ID: 9783907

27. How many pupusa fillings can I add without creating more holes?
28. If I add cheese and a little bit of carne and then more cheese, technically I didn’t make a basic pupusa.
29. Yeah, that sounds fine. Let’s do that.
30. Where’s the…is there no spoon? Do I just reach my bare hand into the bowls of meat and cheese?

ID: 9783985

31. The feeling of cheese stuck under your nails is 100% a torture method they use in hell.
32. I’m just gonna put a teeny bit more cheese…just a little bit mo—I’ve added too much.
33. NO. There’s no such thing!
34. It is a little too round though, I’ll just gently flatten it.
35. *takes out aggression on the masa*

ID: 9789444

37. I am a cooking goddess. Rachael Ray ain’t got shit on me.
38. Now to just set it on the comal…
40. Wait…is it supposed to be sizzling?

ID: 9783995

41. Whatever, toasted leaked cheese is secretly the best part.
42. I DID IT. I made my first pupusa ever and the house didn’t burn down.
43. This deserves a pupusa to celebrate.
44. This all-you-can-eat buffet of happiness is going to be the best thing I’ve ever contributed to. 🏼

ID: 9784000

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